Nine out of ten children have tantrums that last from a few minutes to several minutes and require gentle handling.
Tantrums are very common in children, but they don’t all happen equally often or in the same way or for the same amount of time.
According to available data, tantrums in children usually develop between 2-3 years of age. But they can start from 12 months. Studies show that it develops them:
- 87% of children aged 18-24 months
- 91% of children aged 30-36 months
- 59% of 42-48 year olds
Some babies have tantrums at least once a day. It is observed in 20% of two-year-olds, 18% of three-year-olds and 10% of 4-year-olds.
In some cases, on the contrary, eruptions can last 15 minutes or more. This phenomenon is observed three or more times a week in 5-7% of 1-3 year old children.
Children with reduced language skills or autism may have more frequent and aggressive outbursts of anger. This is due to the additional burden caused by their difficulty in expressing themselves.
The reasons
But where do outbursts of anger come from? as explained by pediatrician Dr. Svetlana Pomeranets From the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, infancy is a period of rapid physical, psychological, and social development for a child.
During this time, most teenagers develop a sense of self and want to start doing things their own way. When what they want to do doesn’t match their abilities, they get confused.
But at the same time, they still lack the verbal skills to ask for help or explain what they want to do. The gap between their desire and their inability to fulfill it can lead to frustration, unruly behavior and angry outbursts.
A teenage child can also be angry tired or hungry He may also be jealous (perhaps of another child) and neglectfully demand more time and attention from his parents.
How they manifest and how long they last
Outburst of anger can manifest itself in different ways, whom:
- Screaming
- Voices
- Tears
- Hit the big ones
- to bite
The child may also fall to the ground and adults may hit or hang him while screaming.
Estimate up to 4.6% of children And children younger than 5 hold their breath during angry outbursts. They usually start this tactic from 6 months of age. It usually disappears by age 5.
Outbursts of anger they usually last from 2 to 15 minutes. Violent outbursts that last longer may be a sign of a more serious problem and should be investigated by a pediatrician.
What to do…
To fight normal age breaks, Dr. Pomeranets recommends trying the following:
- Distract him. Before the situation gets out of control, direct the child’s attention to something he likes.
- Let it evolve. If you don’t nip the explosion in the bud, don’t try to nip it in the bud. Attempting to do so will only prolong its life.
- keep calm. It’s not easy, but you have to do it. Stay calm around your child who has been hit, without speaking. Touch her shoulder or back gently. This will help a lot.
- Ignore the attacks. Throwing, kicking, biting, hitting, or any form of violence is not acceptable behavior. But don’t start yelling at the child to stop. Tell him calmly that it hurts you and that his behavior is wrong. Then don’t do anything else (this is not the time to explain to him why what he did was wrong).
- If the explosion occurs in a public place, quietly take the child and go. At home, let the angry outbursts continue until they dissipate.
- Talk about his feelings. When the tantrum is over, talk to the child about his behavior and the reasons for it. Give him some words to use to better express himself: “I understand that you are angry or stressed…”. Also suggest other ways he can express his feelings. Just make sure you show him that you understand and sympathize.
…and what to avoid
- Don’t give up. It’s a great challenge as long as it calms the child (and your head), however don’t give in to his demands. If you do, you will send him the wrong messages. When you say “no”, you should always mean it – “just this time” exceptions, etc.
- Do not take revenge. Perhaps at some point you will feel the need to retaliate for the thousandth bite or hit of the child. Don’t do it, because all you’re going to do is make him think these behaviors are acceptable because adults do them too! Instead, tell him and show him that it hurts and bothers you a lot.